JUSTICE IN THE SLOW COOKER

Ah, the legal court system — a grand theatre of justice where, in theory, wrongs are righted, and order is restored. But let’s be honest: in practice, it’s more like a soap opera with endless episodes.

First, let’s address the elephant in the courtroom: the glacial pace. Have a minor dispute? Congratulations, you’re now locked into a year-long saga that makes a Netflix series look like a short story. Need a verdict? Hope you brought snacks, a tent, and maybe a retirement plan. Meanwhile, everyone involved grows older, crankier, and decidedly less interested in “justice.”

When a person appears in court, you’d think their whole life story—neatly summarised in their record—would be a critical part of the process. Nope. The system has a unique talent for cherry-picking details while ignoring the big picture.

Got a history of trauma? Struggling to find stable housing? Dealing with a mountain of mental health challenges? Sorry, that’s not the court’s department. Instead, they’ll zero in on that one unpaid parking ticket from 2017 as if it’s the key to your character.

Speaking of mental health, where are the mental health courts? Sure, some jurisdictions have them, but they’re rarer than a judge cracking a joke. The result? People with genuine struggles get treated like criminals rather than individuals in need of support. It’s a bit like punishing someone for sneezing during flu season.

Here’s another gem: family members, often the ones who know the defendant best, are rarely allowed to give crucial context to the magistrate. Heaven forbid anyone provide a compassionate perspective or, you know, a smidgen of helpful background. Instead, the system assumes it knows best and barrels forward with its one-size-fits-all approach.

And then there’s the pièce de résistance: jailing people for minor offences because they failed to turn up to court. Did they miss their hearing because they were struggling with addiction, homelessness, or mental health? Too bad! Off to jail, where they’ll emerge with more problems than they started with. It’s a bit like solving a paper cut with a chainsaw.

Here’s the rub: the system claims to rehabilitate, but in practice, it often criminalises. Instead of offering pathways to recovery and reintegration, it creates cycles of punishment and despair. And while there’s plenty of blame to go around, maybe it’s time to rethink what justice actually looks like.

What if we made the system… human? Imagine a courtroom where:

• Cases didn’t take longer to resolve than the construction of the Great Wall.

• Magistrates saw the full picture, including mental health and personal circumstances.

• Family members could provide vital context without being shushed like kids in a library.

• People were rehabilitated, not churned into the prison-industrial complex.

Revolutionary, right? Until then, we’ll continue to watch this slow-motion drama, hoping for the day when justice is served — piping hot, and not a year too late.