GYMS: FROM SPANDEX TO SMARTWATCHES

Ah, the modern-day temple of physical fitness, where sweat meets aspiration and wallets get lighter faster than your kettlebell routine. Gyms, those sanctuaries of self-improvement, have perfected the art of making you feel simultaneously inadequate and hopeful, all while draining your bank account in cleverly structured increments.

Let's start with the financial ballet of gym memberships. Back in the 90s, membership was straightforward. You paid cash for a month, and if you forgot to renew, they’d let you slide for a few days before politely reminding you. Casual rates were common, and annual contracts were for die-hard bodybuilders. The modern gym membership is a commitment akin to a marriage—complete with vows you can’t break without a hefty penalty. The fine print of the contract is longer than your mortgage agreement, and good luck finding a gym that offers a casual visit. Oh, and there are tiers now: standard, premium, platinum, and "Have you ever seen a dumbbell before?" levels. Gone are the days of straightforward pay-as-you-go options. No, gyms have evolved into masters of the subscription model. Want to visit just once? Forget it! You must commit to at least a week, if not a month, or better yet, lock yourself into a year-long contract. Because, obviously, your commitment to fitness must be as ironclad as their cancellation policies are opaque.

Now, about inclusivity. Inclusivity wasn’t much of a buzzword in the ‘90s. Gyms were primarily designed for the able-bodied and already fit. Classes were limited, and accessibility for older adults or people with disabilities was often an afterthought. Today, inclusivity is a marketing staple. Gyms boast programs for seniors, classes for every level, and facilities for differently-abled members. However, some argue that despite the outward inclusivity, the relentless pursuit of aesthetic perfection still alienates those who don’t fit the mould. Gyms claim to be inclusive spaces for all shapes, sizes, and fitness levels. But let's be real: have you ever seen a gym advertisement featuring a middle-aged dad bod sweating it out on a treadmill next to a professional bodybuilder? Probably not. Gyms cater to a specific aesthetic and demographic, carefully curated to maintain the illusion of a welcoming environment while subtly signalling who belongs and who might feel more comfortable elsewhere.

And let's talk about the equipment. Back then, equipment was functional but basic: iron dumbbells, rusty barbells, and a few clunky machines that looked like they belonged in a medieval torture chamber. If you were lucky, there’d be a single treadmill—usually occupied by someone walking at a pace that screamed, "I’m only here because my doctor made me." Today’s equipment is an engineering marvel. Treadmills come with touchscreens, streaming apps, and virtual trainers who cheer you on from an imaginary beach. Machines track your reps, monitor your heart rate, and may even ask how your day is going. There’s also an explosion of trendy gadgets: battle ropes, TRX straps, and balance balls, because lifting weights apparently isn’t enough anymore. Gyms are like amusement parks for fitness enthusiasts, except instead of roller coasters, you have rows of treadmills, ellipticals, and weights that look like they could double as anchors for a cruise ship. Of course, there's always that one piece of equipment everyone wants to use at the same time, leading to a delicate dance of passive-aggressive hovering and strategic glances at your watch.

Oh, and the classes! The aerobics class used to be the undisputed king, complete with Step platforms and lycra-clad instructors. Yoga was for hippies, and spin bikes weren’t yet a thing. If you weren’t into aerobics, you were probably relegated to the free weights section. The variety of classes today is staggering. From goat yoga to aerial Pilates, there’s a niche for everyone. Spin classes now involve neon lights and live DJs. And let’s not forget HIIT, barre, CrossFit, and F45—fitness has gone from a solo activity to a cult-like experience. Spin, Zumba, Pilates, Bootcamp – a smorgasbord of options to make you feel simultaneously exhilarated and utterly confused about how your body ended up in such contortions. Classes are led by instructors who possess an almost mystical ability to smile through the pain while counting down the seconds until your legs give out or your core collapses like a Jenga tower.

Gyms have evolved from gritty, no-frills spaces to high-tech, highly curated lifestyle hubs. While the advancements are undeniable, one can’t help but wonder if some of the raw, sweaty charm of the old-school gym has been lost amidst the LEDs and Instagram filters. After all, progress is great—but sometimes, simpler really is better.

In conclusion, gyms are more than just places to work out. They are microcosms of society, complete with their own rules, rituals, and rites of passage. They promise transformation, both physical and spiritual, wrapped in a package of neon lights, motivational posters, and the faint smell of sweat mixed with antiseptic cleaner. So lace up those sneakers, grab your water bottle, and prepare to enter the arena – because at the gym, the only thing heavier than the weights is the sense of irony.