BURGERS GONE BONKERS

Ah, the noble hamburger—a staple of American and Australian cuisine, a symbol of fast food glory. But wait, what's this? Have burgers grown in size, or have our mouths shrunk? It's a conundrum as old as time (or at least as old as the super-sized meal deal). Let's dive into the absurdity of today's mammoth burgers.

Picture this: you're sitting at your favourite Hungry Jacks outlet, eagerly awaiting your order. Suddenly, it arrives—the burger to end all burgers. Towering high, it challenges your very existence. How does one tackle such a behemoth without a strategy?

Firstly, the sheer size of these burgers defies logic. Who decided that a burger should be as tall as a skyscraper? Are we meant to scale it like Mount Everest, hoping to conquer beefy peaks and lettuce valleys in one epic gulp? It's like playing culinary Jenga, but with your dignity on the line.

But let's not forget the practicality—or lack thereof. Can we truly call it a burger if it requires deconstruction to fit into our mouths? Call the deconstructed mess what you will—a messy sandwich, a meat stack, an architectural wonder—but a burger it is not. When you need a knife and fork to navigate through layers of meat, cheese, and toppings, you've crossed into a different culinary realm altogether. It's like trying to eat a salad with chopsticks—possible, but absurd.

And what about the flavours? The essence of a good burger lies in the harmony of its components—the juicy patty, the crisp lettuce, the tangy pickles—all coming together in perfect burger bliss. But when you're forced to eat each element separately, where's the joy in that? It's a flavour disconnect of tragic proportions.

Sure, some argue that bigger is better—a testament to Western excess and the triumph of quantity over sensibility. But at what cost, dear burger aficionados? Must we sacrifice elegance for enormity, finesse for sheer volume? Perhaps it's time for a burger revolution—a return to the basics, where a burger fits snugly in your hand and delivers a flavour punch in every bite.

So, the next time you encounter a burger that threatens to defy the laws of physics, pause and reflect. Is it really a burger if you can't enjoy it in one glorious mouthful? Shouldn't we demand more from our beloved buns? Let's reclaim the essence of burger-dom—where size matters, but so does taste, practicality, and the joy of a well-crafted bite.

In conclusion, dear burger lovers, let's raise our tomato sauce-stained napkins to a future where burgers are big enough to satisfy, yet small enough to savour. Until then, bon appétit—and may your burgers be as manageable as they are magnificent.